Fed up of Moaners

I'm often annoyed at people who are always cribbing at their lives. I am sick of them transferring their bloatings into me, depressing me. Their laments are always in these lines:

Oh I wish I had better hair/lips/hips/whatever (You are healthy and intelligent and educated. You are not poor and you are not ugly. Plus you live in the era of internet and actually own a computer. You have a job and you can go to a spa if you want to. Therefore you belong to the tiny % of the world population who are luckier than the others. Asking for something more than that is asking for a kick in the ass from the Fates)

Oh I have so much to do, so many peaks to conquer I can never rest till I have attained them all (Talk about having insecurity issues. Only fools refuse to feel happiness at small accomplishments. By the way, Do not call me when it is lonely at the peak, IF you ever find one that has enough space to fit you)

Oh I am so talented but I am wasted in this company (Are you a baby? Just resign and look for another job. There is no other solution.)

Oh I so much want to do something for the world (For God's sake, move your lazy ass from the telly on weekends and visit the nearest charity)

And then there are those who speak and act in the following language: ME ME ME LOOK AT ME! LOOK AT ME! LOOK HOW FAR I HAVE COME! ALL BY MYSELF! I AM THE SUPERMAN/WOMAN! HEAR ME PRAISE MYSELF 24/7! AIN'T I SO GOOD! AIN'T I THE BEST! BAH BLAH BAAAAAH!

And here's what I have to tell all these losers who don't know how lucky they are and spend their time bemoaning their problems or laughing at others: EAT SHIT, PLEASE.

View of Thames over Richmond Hill

Thresholds - a day retreat to define 2009

The day retreat was great. It was organized and conducted by Roselle Angwin, author of Writing the Moment. I came away with a sheet that had my goals for 2009 on it and a heart which was loads lighter sans pentup guilt and pain. It was a retreat that targeted both the psyche and the mind. I wish more of these were in India.

Probably the three best things I liked about the retreat are:

1. How Roselle used the day to give us writing exercises to write about our past and the present. She made us be really be honest with ourselves... most answers were private, so there was no need to be superficial.

2. She frequently said this - be gentle with yourself. I wish people had said that to be before. Roselle herself was the embodiment of gentleness... her quiet and warm way of talking soothed all of us.

3. Potluck! LOL. Everyone had bought something to share for lunch, and it was one of the tastiest potlucks I have ever been to. Yumm!

So. For those who'd like to know what the course is all about, here's the flyer:

THRESHOLDS - this wild and precious life

Change your life with this day retreat course…

Using writing as a tool it’s a chance to look at where you are: your essential values, your visions, dreams and goals, your work/life balance, your loves, achievements and losses over the past year, your creative life, and what you'd like to create for yourself in the next year – all in the safe support of a friendly group.

10am – 4pm £40/£30 concessions

Refreshments will be provided but please bring vegetarian lunch to share

TO BOOK:

www.fire-in-the-head.co.uk

roselle@fire-in-the-head.co.uk

Couchsurfing with Elly

I had never tried anything so daring before - COUCHSURFING!

There was a day retreat in Exeter, a town about 3 hrs away from London, that I was very interested to attend, but my travel options kind of allowed me to be in the town only for a night. I would read Exeter on saturday night, and leave on sunday evening! I really didn't want to spend 25 pounds on a hotel JUST for a night... hence I researched and found Elly on the couchsurfing website.

As I arrived in Exeter quite late in the night, Elly was kind enough to pick me up from the coach station and drove me to her gorgeous one-bed flat. Her couch was so cozy and warm! And so was Elly - she was such a lovely person! This is my first couchsurfing experience and I kept wondering what I have gotten myself into - I who am such a paranoid person!

But Elly put all my doubts to rest, she had cooked a great dinner for me - sweet potato pie with pita bread - and we spent a couple of hours talking (sorry if I kept you awake, Elly!) about everything under the earth. The next day, she walked with me to the town center and made sure I found the address. Talk about friendly souls and the kindness of strangers!

Thanks, Elly, for your reference in my profile and I hope to see you soon!

Richmond Park, near my house

My first class at Birkbeck

It was bizarre to be sitting inside a class again after five years. But definitely not unpleasant. For the first time in my life, I was a student in a place I wanted to be, about to study a subject I am crazy about. I'm taking the 6-month creative writing module at University of Birkbeck, London.

I knew that wednesdays were going to be hell... I need to drop the kids at the school at 9am, and then run to the rail station to catch a train to Waterloo, and then change to tube, then walk 10 min to the class... and did I mention the class started at 10:30am? So it was like a mad race against time, but here's what's so perfect - the transport system in London is so punctual, the trains arrive on the dot and I always manage to get to class with a few minutes to spare!

It was a surreal walk from the tube station to the university buildings in Russell Square. The place reminded me of Union Square in NYC... the same architecture, shop facades, shops. But the people were better dressed and more relaxed, hehe. It was fun to gawk at the buildings! I know - I studied architecture at college and I should not be so blown away by first world architecture, but I am always awed when I see a fantastic facade or a magnificent building. It's so difficult to be blase about it!

So when I reached the university buildings, I felt so much at peace, looking at the students and the lecturers walking by, talking animatedly. Looked like I am finally going to get the college experience that would be a good memory. I reached my class in time and took a seat right next to the instructor. Well, one more first! I was always the backbencher at school and college ;)

The first class was more like an ic-breaker session. We all, about 14 of us, introduced ourselves and then Sara Boyes, the course instructor, introduced the sessions and the syllabus. I already knew more about it because I have been reading the course link every day for the past 3 months. I liked the way we did exercises and then discussed about them... I am so used to email critiques that I had missed talking - as in verbal communication - with fellow writers. I sure feels good to look at a person and smile and talk about what they wrote!

As the hour progressed, I began to realise - contrary to whatever people might say or I might think during weak moments, investing the time and money to get away and do a course like this is perhaps the best decision I had ever taken in my life.

Day in the life of an au pair

So I am going to be the live-in au pair for the Norman family (name changed), for their 3 daughters. The last one if a kintergardener and would be my special ward. My working hours are weekdays 7:30am to 9am, and 3pm to 7pm. I can take up any p/t work on my free hours, and apart from free room and food, I also get a pocket money of 100 pounds per week.

My day begins like this:

5:30am
Get up and freshen up. Do some browsing, answer emails, update blog. Eat a bowl of cereal.

7:30am
Wake up the kids. The older ones will get ready by themselves, but I need to dress and feed the youngest one, who's 4. Make sure they have their bags and put on their warm clothes. Lock the house, switch on the alarm and drop them at school (a 5 min bus ride away).

9:15am
Return home. On wednesdays alone, I go straight from school to central london to attend college till 1pm. Clean up the kitchen. Make breakfast and watch TV till 11am.

11am to 2pm
Writing time.

2pm to 2:45pm
Heat up a bowl of soup for lunch. Usually call parents to talk, or might again watch some TV. Leave home at 2:45pm.

3pm - 5pm
Pick up kids from school. Bring them home, make dinner, and serve them at 5pm. Make sure they have a bath and change before coming down for dinner.

5:30pm to 6pm
Clean up kitchen and put kids' clothes to wash.

6pm to 7pm
Get the kids to do their homework. If they don't have any, make them tidy up their rooms and then allow them to watch TV.

7pm to 8pm
Usually take a relaxed bath and then take my dinner upstairs. Then I might go out for a stroll, which I don't do often, since it's dark and cold outside.

8pm to 9pm
Read a book. I LOVE the library here! Have already checked out a dozen books.

9pm
Sleep sweet sleep. I have to, since I am practically comatose by exhaustion!

Got a job!

I think I must be the only person who got a job within 5 days of landing in London....

But then I cheated - I had been job searching on the Net since November when I got my visa!
I decided to be an au pair because it offered me the flexibility to study during the day time (when the kids were at school) and also took care of my room+board. And yes, I loveeeeeeee kids and I infinitely prefer to do a childcare job than fry chicken or serve customers... so I put up an ad at Gumtree.com and had several interviews before coming to UK...

It was terrible going to these interviews, though... I had to dress like an Arctic explorer, find the routes on the internet, blow up money on transport (which sucked, bcos I usually had to take 2 trains + 3 buses to get to the houses), and meet each family with the same smile and answer the same questions. I also fell sick on those days, and had to cancel out of a few ones.

I had shortlisted 2 families on my list - the first one was ideal, as there was only one child to take of. Unfortunately, the family never contacted me after asking me to call them.

The second one was a family with 2 middle schoolers and I really liked them - it was a single paents family, which was perfect. But the next day, they said they had chosen another au pair based on references. Oh well.

The third was a family of five living in Richmond Park, and really not on my list! But from the moment when Mom picked me up at the bus stop till she dropped me back home (yes! she really did that!), I had such a lovely time at their house, meeting the kids, who were real poppets. The Mom was really warm and Dad really didn't talk that much - my perfect combination of employers! - and the kids appeared to really like me, and when I saw the hopping deer on the park, I was so content that I said then and there that I would be their au pair!

Yes, I am nervous, and yes, I know I will make mistakes. But somehow, I am feeling happier at this moment then I was when I became the managing editor of a website!

Australia

I am once again in the world of empty theatres and I am HAPPY!

While I love watching movies in Satyam RDX - the BEST theatre in the world, really, I have travelled in four continents so far and have NEVER found any that matched Satyam - I really didn't get used to the idea of having to book tickets 3 days in advance and then fighting the crowd to enter the hall. That's why the theatres in the first world always fascinate me - they are always empty, any time of the day!

So Archana and I finally braved the climate - alright, I did, the temp hardly affected her, grrrrr - packed ourselves some snacks and hit the nearest Cineworld (in Kilburn). I am sucker for epic dramas and I did love Australia, possibly the most cliched movie on earth. But who cares - Hugh Jackman is half naked in the movie!

Finally, in London

I'm here. In the land of Arthur Conan Doyle, Enid Blyton, and Agatha Christie. Not to mention J K R.

It was dark when I landed y'day at Heathrow. My friends whisked me off to Kingsbury in a radio taxi and I didn't get to see much, but today morning when I looked out of my window, I was blown away by the view. Acres of park, bordered by picture-perfect victorian cottages. School children in uniform and insanely-fit joggers with their dogs. The world was clad in winter fashion, tight clothes and high boots, somehow more striking and chic than the little black dress.

So, what's the snake in paradise?

Minus 5 degrees, that's what.

Brrrr.

Green Park Resort, Pattaya: Beautiful!

I stayed in Green Park Resort for two nights and three days during the second week of Dec 2007. We were a family of four.

What are the pluses?

1. BIG plus... we checked in at 10am, and they didn't bat an eyelid. Their check-in policy says 2pm, but our flight landed us in Thailand at 5am, so we really didn't have any choice. I realize that if the room had been busy, we could have ended up waiting in the lobby, but it was so nice to see smiling faces, when we were all set for a battle with the management!

2. We got the newly renovated family suite in the first floor, which was spotless, clean, and overlooked the beautiful pool area. The air-conditioner worked only too well, I was always cold, but I guess westerners would be delighted. The fridge was stocked well and the phone service was prompt.

3. The place was so beautiful, and pleasant to stroll around. It was so hot in Thailand even in December, and it was cool inside the resort, due to the greenery. The pool, esp., looked fabulous....

4. The place is located in a respectable part of the town, if you get what I mean. I hardly saw an older man with a younger woman in this hotel... but may I just got lucky. I did see a lot of elderly tourists.

5. Last, but not the least, was the breakfast buffet. So many dishes.... yumm!

Minuses... yes I have 2 -
1. I had booked a day trip with a local travel agent and when they had called up in the morning asking for us, the front desk told them there was nobody in the hotel in our name! I mean... I do agree that my last name is Indian and may sound tongue-twisty, but that very fact should have alerted them, don't you think?

In the end, after many calls since 7am (or so the travel agent tells me), the agency sent a person to meet us in the lobby, which he did. And I cam down around 10am and sat there right before him... and we didn't know each other! Lol, it was almost funny. After some time, this guy very hesitantly asks me if I was Ms. M, and I rely yes, and we had this really funny introduction :)

2. The hotel sells internet cards at 100 baht per hour, the ones which keep tab on how long u use the net and when the one hour is done, you are automatically logged out. It was too costly, which by itself is terrible, when you have an excellent cybercafé outside for 1 baht per minute, but the net at Green Park was so slow... and get this, even when the connection went dead, the time in the card kept on getting reduced! I remember getting awfully mad cos' of this...

In summary, I think Green Park is a cool resort, a beautiful place to stay with the family or significant other. My only caution tip would be - don't browse the net there!

Thai massage at Oryza spa (Chennai)

Thanks to working before the computer 8 hours a day (not to mention the 2 hours I spend at home browsing the net), my neck and back are in constant unease. I had heard about the Thai massage long back, even before visiting Thailand, but the procedure always managed to keep me away. I mean, letting another human being stand on my poor back? No can do.

But y'day, as I made my bi-monthly visit to Oryza spa in Chennai (the only place where I spend without reservations - apart from the library), I was struck by a sudden urge to try it out. I usually do reflexology (you can read my review here), but since my upper body was making me wince, I decided to try thai massage. After copious amounts of reassurance from the spa attendant ("Yes Ma'am, you spinal cord will be perfectly intact after the session"), I followed my masseuse, a very petite Indonesian lady named Jaya.

Jaya took me into a small room (2m x 4m) and left me alone. I dressed myself in loose-fitting spa clothes (the Thai massage is done on a fully-clothed body) and lay down on my back on the mat. She came in and switched off the lights. Hello! Before I screamed, she switched on a very dim light. Aha, so that's it. I had no problem with dim lighting, the harsh yellow light will definitely not be very conducive for a resting massage.

What followed in the hour after is not quite pleasant, yet not unpleasant either. When my arms ache after typing, I kind of softly plummet them on a bouncy surface, to work out the kinks. Now, imagine if that's been done to your entire body. Jaya started with my legs. She kind of poked (but it didn't feel like poking, more like pressing) my legs using her hands and legs (yes, legs), pulled them, twisted them and kneaded them. She did the same for my hands. It was very relieving, rather than relaxing, because that urge to get a nice hard knock on a particularly persistent ache - she was exactly doing that.

Then I was made to lie on my stomach, and she stood on me. STOOD ON ME! Now I understand why thai massage is done by petite people. Jaya actually stood on my legs and started stretching my arm backwards! And I could hear popping sounds and creaks all over! Nothing painful, but a little alarming if you are doing it for the first time. Then she put her entire body weight on my back.

Yeaaoooowww!!!! It was a little too much in the beginning, as my face was crushed on the pillow and I couldn't breathe for the second whenever she was giving short pushes on my spine. But it didn't feel painful... it felt really, REALLY good. So that's what it was - pulling and stretching and pressing and bending your body in different postures. It was like yoga on demand. Little wonder, because it seems Thai massage originated in India!

The session lasted an hour and ended with a nice but short head massage. After the session, I did feel good. Not great, which is how I feel after a reflexology session, but definitely GOOD. Worth a try at least once in your lifetime!

1500rs per 60 minutes
http://www.oryzadayspa.காம்
Branches in Chennai and Bangalore

How You Can Change the World

Derek Turner at Ngorongoro Crater. Photo by Derek Turner.

How You Can Change the World Through Volunteer Work

By Derek Turner from The World By Sea

Find a need. Fill a need.

For many of us there comes a point in life, when you take pause, look around and realize we have it pretty good. It’s that moment when you discover that no matter how many points the Dow has dropped, or how high gas prices have become, we still live like kings and queens compared to a lot of people in the world. Then comes the wave of guilt, compassion, inspiration - whatever it is that moves a person to say: “ I want to do something. I, (insert full name here), want to make a difference.”

This is probably the biggest step: realizing that we can, even should, make a difference. But then, after that beautiful, humbling moment of self-realization where we decide YES (I am going to change the world!), comes the more complicated and often de-motivating, “how.” This step, as it turns out, is even more difficult than first.

After that beautiful, humbling moment of self-realization where we decide YES, comes the more complicated and often de-motivating, “how.”Volunteering is a broad term. It can be as simple or complicated as you like. It can mean anything from picking up trash, to serving bread at a soup kitchen, to serving on the front lines for a country you love. You don’t have go anywhere to do it, but if you’re like me and would rather travel than stay home, the opportunities are endless.

READ MORE

3 weeks left for the Big Move

I am still in wonder. What happened? Who applied for the working holidaymaker visa, one that has a 98% rejection rate in India? Who slogged through collecting all the documents, keeping it a secret, in fear of being jinxed? And who finally got it? Was it.... me?

Yes, it was! I am going to an year-long working holiday in UK!!!

It all happened so fast and so furious that I still can't believe I am leaving by this month end. It all happened because of my longtime friend, Archana. She left to UK to join her husband and while leaving, she threw a sentence at me: "Why don't you come too?"

And I thought: "Well, why not?"

For quite some time now, I have been feeling restless. In case you do not know me, I am afflicted with a deadly disease: travel lust. I can't stay at one place for a long time. I just have to move, at least for some time, before I return. But the restlessness was not only because of it, it was also because of my writing - or the absence of it.

I have a very good job. One of the best jobs in the country, for someone like me, I should add. I work as the online editor for a children's magazine. But editing and writing are two different things, and I have not written anything worthwhile in the past couple of years (ince I stopped freelancing and started full time jobs).

Now, it is killing me. I am not able to sleep at nights and I am constantly on edge. The only time I feel peaceful is when I write, uninterrupted. NOT possible when you work full time. I am feeling a call from some place, beckoning me to just drop everything and WRITE. So... I am answering that call, and applied for a work visa to UK and got it. I have already lived in the USA. UK is the next frontier :)

I am not going back to full-time freelancing. I am going to use this year-break to enroll into a writing course - my long time dream. I am going to study P/T in the University of London (Birkbeck) and I am just going to write. I am at a point where I need feedback on my fiction or just wither away. Thanks to my fulltime jobs in India, I have saved some money using which I can comfortably move to UK.

And after that? Well, when I began to actually starve (and become thin - yay!!!!!!!), I will get one, just to pay my rent and food. Just enough, so that I can devote the rest of the time to write.

So... if you are in London and happen to look deep into the supermarket tiller while checking out your purchase, say hi.... it might just be me!

CLIPS: Chandamama Dec 2008 (English)

Two of my stories - BAN PIN SHAN and SECOND HELPINGS - are published in the december issue of the revamped Chandamama maagzine.

One is a retelling of an ancient Vietnamese tale, and the other is a contemporary "Hum-tum" style story of sparring friends.

Subscription link is here.

Buy: Any neighbourhood newsmart near your house! (if you live in India)

Diet 2009

From today, I plan to eat small quantities of healthy food at certain times of the day, before I start to feel real hunger.

7am - water therapy (for overall elimination)

8:15am - Diet Delite breakfast (high-fiber)

11pm - one carrot stick + cuccumber, diced (vit A)

1pm - chicken/tofu tropical salad in fresh mayo (protein + biotin)

4pm - 2 pieces garlic bread (carbs)

7:30pm - dinner of veg soup OR chappathi and sabji (without ghee or masala)

Will this work? Gotta wait and see!

Small helpings

For the first time in several years, I ate moderately.

I use the word moderate because I am sure it is not low-fat or low-carb or low-anything. But I had small quantities.

In the morning I had MTR's Diet Delite - 1 packet. It's a porridgy mixture mainly made of wheat. For lunch around 1pm, I had tropical chicken salad (chicken slivers + pine apple + mayo) and 2 pieces of garlic bread. The remaining two pieces of garlic bread I ate around 5pm, when the hunger pangs hit the hardest.


It was a shock to know that I could feel this full after eating small packets of salad and bread.

In the evening, around 7pm, I had a small bowl of sweet corn with lime and pepper. Now, I am ready to sleep.

For those who are not my friends, I am suffering from a weight gain problem. Partly because of heredity and partly because of gluttony. I generally eat huge quantities of rice and fried food morning, noon and night (hence the double chin and jelly belly). If I go without samosas or rice for over 12 hours, my body will revolt. Headaches and tummy aches will crop up, accompanied by a murderous rage.

But today... nothing. I felt warm and full. So that's the secret... to eat BEFORE the stomach starts to complain its hunger. Because once your body realises that it's hunger and panics, nothing can stop you from demolishing all your diet plans.

WHM visa: 6 basic documents needed

It often amazes me when I come across certain queries on the net, posted by aspiring Working Holidaymakers. They sent out questions asking for minimum bank balance and application procedure and interview techniques. One person even wanted a copy of holiday plan that he can duplicate!

I am completely flummoxed... How can anybody just post questions on a forum and EXPECT magic solutions to be offered to them, if they are not even willing to do basic research? A visa is a serious matter. It's not a lottery or a charity. You are entering alien domain, another country and naturally, you need to be prepared. Wouldn't you prepare before taking an exam? And instead of relying on somebody's views, it is always best to do the research by yourself.

But then, not all people might have unlimited access to internet (may be you are based in a town where internet speed is not reliable) - nor can many have the leisure of time to sit for weeks or months and do research before actually applying (which is what I did). So, for those people who genuinely do not know where to start, please find below the 6 basic documents you need to apply for WHM.

--------------------------------------

If you want to browse a comprehensive site on Working Holidaymaker visas of the world, go to http://www.whmvisa.blogspot.com

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1. A bank balance of a min. 5000 pounds - original bank statement shd be given.
The UK site says it is min. 2600 pounds, but I know lots who got rejected after showing that amount… so it is always better to show more. Even if you have a sponsor, the amount shd be in YOUR account... recently, my friend got rejected because her sponsor's (her father’s) money, over 10k pounds, was not in HER account.

2. Detailed holiday plan
I mean, DETAILED... bcos if the holiday plan is very brief or general, the visa officers will immediately conclude that the applicant is not very serious abt holidaying in UK… they will decide that you want to go to work.

3. Future job offer
from existing/new employer OR letter from your parent/husband/wife/fiancée saying that you will return OR similar (up to your personal situation)

4. A one-way flight ticket (mandatory) or a return flight ticket (excellent)
Yes, you have to do this, it’s a great way of proving that you are returning back. You definitely need to put aside the amount and take this step if you badly want to get the WHM visa. Many have got the visa without keeping this, but I am talking about current times where things are complicated, and esp. in India, they expect return flight ticket printouts.

5. Personal covering letter with a promise to return back.
This is important. I heard it from a lot of consultants that most applicants just keep the required documents. Trust me, it pays to to write polite introduction letter about yourself. It might make the officer know more about you and then make a decision.

6. Proof of accommodation.
If you don't know anybody, a confirmed booking at a hotel or a hostel - for a minimum of 2-4 weeks - is more than enough. If you do have relatives' place to stay, get them to give appropiate sponsorship letters, including council tax documents. Looking back, I see that most of my friends had problems only when they showed letters from their relatives offering them free lodging and boarding in UK!

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The above 6 things are COMPULSORY, no matter what other tells you, you HAVE to have these in your documents folder (along with your completed application form, passport, and photos)

You are, of course, free to keep more documents that might help your case. Many say that a NOC letter from current employer is a big plus (however, you can get it only if you have a good rapport with your superior!). Other documents that might help are graduation certificates, PF account proof, savings scheme certificates, property documents or FD passbooks (in your name preferably) - all in ORIGINAL.

If you want to browse a comprehensive site on Working Holidaymaker visas of the world, go to http://www.whmvisa.blogspot.com

Happy Diwali!

I stood in my rooftop terrace and watched in glee as colourful fireworks exploded on th sky above. They were like mini-rocket bombs! I usually find it difficult to laugh while coughing in all that cracker smoke, but no one can resist smiling at the colours above... specks of green, red and gold dotting the sky. My legs refused to move, even though I realised that it was actually dangerous to stand like this, barefoot and clothed in a cotton dress. It was like being in a battlefield, with all the sounds and smoke - a happy battlefield, if there is one!

After half an hour, I finally came downstairs and sat before the comp. I tried to concentrate and finish my work, I had a few deadlines at work... had to finish a couple of stories for the magazine I was working for, yet, it was difficult to. The sounds of firecrackers were defeaning... and I, who can't work if a mosquito burped loudly, didn't mind it at all!

Perhaps that's Diwali. It catches upon you, and you just can't avoid it. I am not big of festivals, but this one is very tough to ignore.

Generally I make a point never to go out during Diwali season... you never know when you are going to step on a landmine, oops sorry, firecracker. But Diwali comes to you... the way you start when an especially loud cracker goes off, when your pet hides under the bed for 3 continious days, when you feast on sweets and dosas non stop, when you get a weekday off from work, when kids ... Diwali is there in your life.