It was almost a perfect day.
I woke up with no appetite. Just had a handful of Food Doctor's Seed mix.
Lunch was a bowl of steamed french beans and sweetcorn. I seasoned it with a few drops of olive oil, rock salt, pepper and lemon juice.
I then went to the National Portrait Gallery with my friend. Wlaked around quite a bit, adding exercise to art appreciation.
Evening snack was a bowl of boiled chickpeas. Dinner was my trademark curried one-egg omelette with spinach and ginger.
Dessert? An ice cream bowl of cut banana mixed with yogurt, and flavoured with honey and cinnamon. I also added walnuts and some slivered almonds.
You would think that such a good day would have a good ending.
It did not. Because I just finished a mini tube of Smarties.
Caved in on the 4th day of the detox. Of course, I bitterly regret it now, but I learned a good lesson. As I bit into the first Smartie, my mouth was filled with a bitter, metallic taste. I really didn't enjoy those chocolate buttons, because, I think, my body has learned to identify the junk that it actually is.
And now that my tongue has told me how vile the artificial colouring on chocolate is, I will never go near them again. Even as I write this, my mouth is tasting so funny and bitter. I have to brush again!
I had given myself 3 times (out of 3 weeks), to stray from the detox, if it is unavoidable or too overwhelming. The first time had happened today. I will try my best not to let it happen again.
But I do know one thing. The next 2 times, if they happen, will NOT happen because of chocolate. After completing this detox, I may eat them now and then... may be at the movie hall or during a party - but I know I will never be addicted to chocolate again.
So may be it IS a perfect day, after all!
STRAYED? Yes :(. one small hexagonal tube of Nestle Smarties. 172 calores. Sigh.
SURPRISED? - That I could spend a day on so little food.
REPELLED? - Initial taste of chocolate was just plain horrible.
MOOD? - Sheepish and guilty but wise and relieved...
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
Dr. Joshi's detox - Day 3
Day 3 went okay, but I had my first craving today. It was not a nice feeling :(
I always breakfast on a curried egg omelette and a tall glass of warm lemon water, so I will not mention it again from the next post... do not want to be a parrot!
I had 3 feta rice cakes as a mid-morning snack and two more as an evening snack. This time I topped it with Food doctor's original seed mix, a savory mix of dry-roasted sunflower, sesame, pumpkin, hem and linseed seeds(this is a must if you are doing the detox, bcos on spoon of this will keep your sugar levels good between the meals and stop any cravings). It was okay, but I will go back to plain linseed topping. Seed mix is great only when munched on its own!
Lunch was a big bowl of roasted carrots and brussels sprouts, with home made hummus dip. There is pretty much no hope for brussels sprouts, but if you slice your carrots really thin (use a grater), add a few drops olive oil+rock salt+pepper and roast them for 30 minutes, they come out as these incredible chips. It is almost like cheating, lol.
Dinner was a small bowl of lentils mixed with brown rice, accompanied by masala salmon. I took one slice of salmon, chopped it, and sauteed it in 1/2 a tsp of olive oil, with a generous sprinkling of garam masala and chilli powder. I find that I am very reluctant to cook for dinner... I have the energy to experiment in the kitchen during the day, but as soon as it becomes 8pm, I start getting sleepy, and by 9pm, I cannot wait go to bed, so I just heat up whatever is in the fridge as have it as dinner. Hmmm, must do something about this... brown rice may be healthy, but I won't be losing much weight if I am eating it everyday!
Dessert was a banana, bcos for some reason, I did not want to have the cinnamon yoghurt. I have been pee'ing a lot during the day, which is tend to happen, I guess, if I drink 2 litres of water. I did wake up in the night today around 2am, but went back to sleep promptly.
Strayed? - NO
Surprised? - Carrot chips was yummy
Repelled? - There is really no way to make brussels sprouts tasty.
Cravings? - Had my first longing for hot chocolate today when I watched an ad on TV (this was during the 8pm-9pm FRIENDS telecast on E4). Then for about 30 seconds, I considered dropping the detox and stuffing myself with chicken biriyani and chocolate fondue. I immediately got up and had a banana, and the feeling reluctantly went away.
Mood? - Calm but a little uneasy
I always breakfast on a curried egg omelette and a tall glass of warm lemon water, so I will not mention it again from the next post... do not want to be a parrot!
I had 3 feta rice cakes as a mid-morning snack and two more as an evening snack. This time I topped it with Food doctor's original seed mix, a savory mix of dry-roasted sunflower, sesame, pumpkin, hem and linseed seeds(this is a must if you are doing the detox, bcos on spoon of this will keep your sugar levels good between the meals and stop any cravings). It was okay, but I will go back to plain linseed topping. Seed mix is great only when munched on its own!
Lunch was a big bowl of roasted carrots and brussels sprouts, with home made hummus dip. There is pretty much no hope for brussels sprouts, but if you slice your carrots really thin (use a grater), add a few drops olive oil+rock salt+pepper and roast them for 30 minutes, they come out as these incredible chips. It is almost like cheating, lol.
Dinner was a small bowl of lentils mixed with brown rice, accompanied by masala salmon. I took one slice of salmon, chopped it, and sauteed it in 1/2 a tsp of olive oil, with a generous sprinkling of garam masala and chilli powder. I find that I am very reluctant to cook for dinner... I have the energy to experiment in the kitchen during the day, but as soon as it becomes 8pm, I start getting sleepy, and by 9pm, I cannot wait go to bed, so I just heat up whatever is in the fridge as have it as dinner. Hmmm, must do something about this... brown rice may be healthy, but I won't be losing much weight if I am eating it everyday!
Dessert was a banana, bcos for some reason, I did not want to have the cinnamon yoghurt. I have been pee'ing a lot during the day, which is tend to happen, I guess, if I drink 2 litres of water. I did wake up in the night today around 2am, but went back to sleep promptly.
Strayed? - NO
Surprised? - Carrot chips was yummy
Repelled? - There is really no way to make brussels sprouts tasty.
Cravings? - Had my first longing for hot chocolate today when I watched an ad on TV (this was during the 8pm-9pm FRIENDS telecast on E4). Then for about 30 seconds, I considered dropping the detox and stuffing myself with chicken biriyani and chocolate fondue. I immediately got up and had a banana, and the feeling reluctantly went away.
Mood? - Calm but a little uneasy
Monday, February 15, 2010
Dr. Joshi's detox - Day 2
Something incredible – no no, three things incredible have happened and I HAD to blog in the middle of Day 2.
Incredible thing no. 1:
----------------------
I woke up at 7am. I slept at 9pm last night and woke up at 7am today. In case, it doesn't strike as unusual, I am used to waking up AT LEAST 3 times during any night. No, not to go to the loo, but just wake up randomly, look at the ceiling for a few minutes, and then go back to sleep. I was not an insomniac, but I certainly was a disturbed sleeper.
That I went to bed at 9am itself was a surprise, because I have never done that. I usually stay awake till 11pm, and even if I needed to go to bed early, it is always because of an fatigue-filled day or if I HAD to get up early the next morning. So when I slept at 9am and got up at 7am on Detox Day 1, without even waking up once... gosh, I do not know when that happened last. Years and years ago, I am sure!
Incredible thing no. 2
-----------------------
I made myself a one-egg omelette of breakfast. My recipe for omelette is a little detailed. Beat an egg in a bowl, and add a tablespoon of rice milk, along with a pinch of table salt and 2 pinches of Korma curry powder. Put a non-stick tava or flat pan on medium heat. Saute ½ an onion in ½ tsp of olive oil for 3 minutes, add green chilli, ginger and garlic , and saute for two more minutes. Now add ½ a cup of fresh spinach leaves, and saute for three more minutes.
Now, pour the egg into the pan and twirl the pan around to distribute the egg evenly. Sprinkle fresh ground pepper according to your level of tolerance and let the egg set for a minute. Then flip the egg over (doesn't matter if it breaks!), turn off the stove, and remove the pan from stove top. Let the omelette remain in the pan for one more minute, and then transfer it to a plate.
This omelette is incredibly light and tasty, but also incredibly inadequate to be a filling breakfast. But today, instead of half an onion and half cup of spinach, I added one onion and one cup of spinach. After finishing this, I didn't feel like I need another omelette! Aha! So that's the secret. Increase the amount of veggies.
Later, around 11am, I spread some marinated feta on a rice cracker and bit a bit piece. As I started to munch, and felt as if someone kicked into my throat. I started coughing like mad and had to drink some water. Then I returned back to remaining rice cake, and took baby bites. Tiny nibblings, and this time, I didn't cough. God! Was that actually my own body telling me not to wolf down food and savour it slowly??? Phew!!!
Incredible thing no. 3
----------------------
So this is what happened – last night, I weighed myself in the new digital weighing machine. It showed 70.21 kgs!!! Eeeek! Then I remembered – clothes add to the weight (especially if you are living in wintry London and wear three layers!). So I weighed myself in my birthday dress. The scale 69.55 kilos. Bleh.
So today morning, on walking up, I did my business in the loo and my eyes fell on the weighing machine. Again, stripped and got on it. Now I am 69.15.... hmmmm.
So I did my breakfast and usual bits of writing and then it was 1pm... time for lunch. I had to pass the bathroom to go to kitchen... you know what I did not, yeah, weighed myself again. And the machine showed..... 68 kgs!!!!!!
What the heck?? Is this even possible? I have not been eating any junk food for only 2 days, and I have already lost 1.5 kilos??? Either the machine is faulty... or this detox must really be magical!!!
POST-SCRIPT:
Lunch - A bowl of boiled green beans and carrots, with a peppery olive oil spray on them. I also had an incredibly supersweet corn on the cob
Snack - Rice cakes with marinated feta and chopped onion, sprinkled with linseed
Dinner - Salmon with dal and brown rice
Desset - There was a bit of the yogurt+honey+walnut+slivered almonds gop left in the fridge, and I did not want to throw it away (I can never throw away food, I was once jobless in London and almost starved). I added a pinch of cinnamon in the yogurt and wow! what a transformation!!! Instantly, the mess became bearable, even enjoyable. I licked the cup clean :)
Strayed? - NO
Surprised? - A pinch of cinnamon did what a teaspoon of honey didn't
Repelled? - Frozen green beans is definitely not similar to fresh green beans.
Cravings? - None whatsoever
Mood? - Feeling strong and empowered
Incredible thing no. 1:
----------------------
I woke up at 7am. I slept at 9pm last night and woke up at 7am today. In case, it doesn't strike as unusual, I am used to waking up AT LEAST 3 times during any night. No, not to go to the loo, but just wake up randomly, look at the ceiling for a few minutes, and then go back to sleep. I was not an insomniac, but I certainly was a disturbed sleeper.
That I went to bed at 9am itself was a surprise, because I have never done that. I usually stay awake till 11pm, and even if I needed to go to bed early, it is always because of an fatigue-filled day or if I HAD to get up early the next morning. So when I slept at 9am and got up at 7am on Detox Day 1, without even waking up once... gosh, I do not know when that happened last. Years and years ago, I am sure!
Incredible thing no. 2
-----------------------
I made myself a one-egg omelette of breakfast. My recipe for omelette is a little detailed. Beat an egg in a bowl, and add a tablespoon of rice milk, along with a pinch of table salt and 2 pinches of Korma curry powder. Put a non-stick tava or flat pan on medium heat. Saute ½ an onion in ½ tsp of olive oil for 3 minutes, add green chilli, ginger and garlic , and saute for two more minutes. Now add ½ a cup of fresh spinach leaves, and saute for three more minutes.
Now, pour the egg into the pan and twirl the pan around to distribute the egg evenly. Sprinkle fresh ground pepper according to your level of tolerance and let the egg set for a minute. Then flip the egg over (doesn't matter if it breaks!), turn off the stove, and remove the pan from stove top. Let the omelette remain in the pan for one more minute, and then transfer it to a plate.
This omelette is incredibly light and tasty, but also incredibly inadequate to be a filling breakfast. But today, instead of half an onion and half cup of spinach, I added one onion and one cup of spinach. After finishing this, I didn't feel like I need another omelette! Aha! So that's the secret. Increase the amount of veggies.
Later, around 11am, I spread some marinated feta on a rice cracker and bit a bit piece. As I started to munch, and felt as if someone kicked into my throat. I started coughing like mad and had to drink some water. Then I returned back to remaining rice cake, and took baby bites. Tiny nibblings, and this time, I didn't cough. God! Was that actually my own body telling me not to wolf down food and savour it slowly??? Phew!!!
Incredible thing no. 3
----------------------
So this is what happened – last night, I weighed myself in the new digital weighing machine. It showed 70.21 kgs!!! Eeeek! Then I remembered – clothes add to the weight (especially if you are living in wintry London and wear three layers!). So I weighed myself in my birthday dress. The scale 69.55 kilos. Bleh.
So today morning, on walking up, I did my business in the loo and my eyes fell on the weighing machine. Again, stripped and got on it. Now I am 69.15.... hmmmm.
So I did my breakfast and usual bits of writing and then it was 1pm... time for lunch. I had to pass the bathroom to go to kitchen... you know what I did not, yeah, weighed myself again. And the machine showed..... 68 kgs!!!!!!
What the heck?? Is this even possible? I have not been eating any junk food for only 2 days, and I have already lost 1.5 kilos??? Either the machine is faulty... or this detox must really be magical!!!
POST-SCRIPT:
Lunch - A bowl of boiled green beans and carrots, with a peppery olive oil spray on them. I also had an incredibly supersweet corn on the cob
Snack - Rice cakes with marinated feta and chopped onion, sprinkled with linseed
Dinner - Salmon with dal and brown rice
Desset - There was a bit of the yogurt+honey+walnut+slivered almonds gop left in the fridge, and I did not want to throw it away (I can never throw away food, I was once jobless in London and almost starved). I added a pinch of cinnamon in the yogurt and wow! what a transformation!!! Instantly, the mess became bearable, even enjoyable. I licked the cup clean :)
Strayed? - NO
Surprised? - A pinch of cinnamon did what a teaspoon of honey didn't
Repelled? - Frozen green beans is definitely not similar to fresh green beans.
Cravings? - None whatsoever
Mood? - Feeling strong and empowered
Sunday, February 14, 2010
Dr. Joshi's Detox - Day 1
The day has begun!
I did a dry run in the past 2 days and most of my craving and fears were spent on those two days, so I was surprisingly calm and tensionless today. Physically, I am not quite okay as I have a racking cough, a runny nose and a lethargic mood, due to sinus problems. I even had a temperature, and not much of an appetitie, which was a blessing in disguise, otherwise I would have never been able to resist my unending hunger for junk food.
So here's Day 1 menu:
On waking up, 7am – 1 tall glass of warm water with a tbsp of squeezed lemon. Supposed to cleanse your liver and stomach, after a night's fasting.
Breakfast , 8:30am – 1 egg omelette, scrambled with onion and spinach. Added a small green chilli and a bit of Korma powder, for flavour. It was yummy, but I SO badly wanted to have another egg omelette I then took a deep breath and started eating a banana, and the craving passed.
In about 10 minutes, I started getting ravenous. I then consumed two thin Kallo rice cakes. Surprisingly, I did not have any cravings after that. I was able to work on my writing quietly, till I went to the kitchen around 12:30pm to start cooking and my gaze fell on Food Doctor's original seed mix. Yummy! Had a couple of tbsp of it, and instantly felt energised.
Lunch (1:30pm) – I cooked! I made ladies finger (okra) fry, brown basmati rice and boiled lentils. I am used to eating mild lentils, so I made the okra spicy. Funny, but I made enough for 3 days!
After cooking I realised something... what Joshi was actually advertising was Indian brahmin cooking! That's not a tough thing at all... I have been missing Indian food so much, I have absolutely NO problem eating mild Indian food for the next 3 weeks!
Evening snack – This is where I usually stuff myself with chocolate bars or cakes. I had been scourging the net for Joshi-friendly recipes and came upon a wonderful site called eCurry.com, which has many detox-friendly recipes. One was called Marinated Feta. As per the recipe, I cut the feta cheese into small blocks, put them in a glass bowl and added 1/4 teaspoons of coriander and turmeric, and one chopped green chilli. I poured one tablespoon of garlic-infused olive oil and one tablespoon of and chilli-infused olive oil. I then sprinkled 1/2 teaspoon each of oregano, thyme and rosemary.
The mix was supposed to be marinated for at least a day, but greedy me couldn't wait and pounced on it at once. When I tossed the mix, the feta blocks broke and the whole thing kind of became gooey. Not a problem, I just spread them on my Kallo rice cake and topped with finely chopped onion. Yum-my!
Dinner (8pm): Since I had rice in the afternoon, I thought I will keep it light and veggie-friendly for dinner. THOUGHT being the past tense. I rally wanted to have curried carrots, peas and sauteed Brussels sprouts, but I did NOT feel like cooking, after spending an hour today afternoon in the kitchen. So I just had another bowlful of lentils and brown rice with the okra fry.
I am not sure if this constitutes "cheating", but I did not consume any forbidden food... in my defence, dinner was a very small bowl and I was full very soon - which is a miracle by itself.
Dessert (9pm): A small cup of live yogurt, with a teaspoon of honey and a teaspoon of walnut pieces+almond slivers. Pretty much bleh, but at least I could keep the sugar cravings aside.
It quarter past 9 now and I am feeling sleepy! Never happened before... am I going to get a good night's sleep? I hope so... I stil hav a blocked nose and phlemy cold, so I am looking forward to a peaceful trip to La-la land...
Strayed? - No... (I think)
Surprised? - Marinated feta on rice crackers... super!
Repelled? - Plain yogurt with honey and apricots does NOT taste nice
Mood? - Upbeat and hopeful
I did a dry run in the past 2 days and most of my craving and fears were spent on those two days, so I was surprisingly calm and tensionless today. Physically, I am not quite okay as I have a racking cough, a runny nose and a lethargic mood, due to sinus problems. I even had a temperature, and not much of an appetitie, which was a blessing in disguise, otherwise I would have never been able to resist my unending hunger for junk food.
So here's Day 1 menu:
On waking up, 7am – 1 tall glass of warm water with a tbsp of squeezed lemon. Supposed to cleanse your liver and stomach, after a night's fasting.
Breakfast , 8:30am – 1 egg omelette, scrambled with onion and spinach. Added a small green chilli and a bit of Korma powder, for flavour. It was yummy, but I SO badly wanted to have another egg omelette I then took a deep breath and started eating a banana, and the craving passed.
In about 10 minutes, I started getting ravenous. I then consumed two thin Kallo rice cakes. Surprisingly, I did not have any cravings after that. I was able to work on my writing quietly, till I went to the kitchen around 12:30pm to start cooking and my gaze fell on Food Doctor's original seed mix. Yummy! Had a couple of tbsp of it, and instantly felt energised.
Lunch (1:30pm) – I cooked! I made ladies finger (okra) fry, brown basmati rice and boiled lentils. I am used to eating mild lentils, so I made the okra spicy. Funny, but I made enough for 3 days!
After cooking I realised something... what Joshi was actually advertising was Indian brahmin cooking! That's not a tough thing at all... I have been missing Indian food so much, I have absolutely NO problem eating mild Indian food for the next 3 weeks!
Evening snack – This is where I usually stuff myself with chocolate bars or cakes. I had been scourging the net for Joshi-friendly recipes and came upon a wonderful site called eCurry.com, which has many detox-friendly recipes. One was called Marinated Feta. As per the recipe, I cut the feta cheese into small blocks, put them in a glass bowl and added 1/4 teaspoons of coriander and turmeric, and one chopped green chilli. I poured one tablespoon of garlic-infused olive oil and one tablespoon of and chilli-infused olive oil. I then sprinkled 1/2 teaspoon each of oregano, thyme and rosemary.
The mix was supposed to be marinated for at least a day, but greedy me couldn't wait and pounced on it at once. When I tossed the mix, the feta blocks broke and the whole thing kind of became gooey. Not a problem, I just spread them on my Kallo rice cake and topped with finely chopped onion. Yum-my!
Dinner (8pm): Since I had rice in the afternoon, I thought I will keep it light and veggie-friendly for dinner. THOUGHT being the past tense. I rally wanted to have curried carrots, peas and sauteed Brussels sprouts, but I did NOT feel like cooking, after spending an hour today afternoon in the kitchen. So I just had another bowlful of lentils and brown rice with the okra fry.
I am not sure if this constitutes "cheating", but I did not consume any forbidden food... in my defence, dinner was a very small bowl and I was full very soon - which is a miracle by itself.
Dessert (9pm): A small cup of live yogurt, with a teaspoon of honey and a teaspoon of walnut pieces+almond slivers. Pretty much bleh, but at least I could keep the sugar cravings aside.
It quarter past 9 now and I am feeling sleepy! Never happened before... am I going to get a good night's sleep? I hope so... I stil hav a blocked nose and phlemy cold, so I am looking forward to a peaceful trip to La-la land...
Strayed? - No... (I think)
Surprised? - Marinated feta on rice crackers... super!
Repelled? - Plain yogurt with honey and apricots does NOT taste nice
Mood? - Upbeat and hopeful
Friday, February 12, 2010
Dr. Joshi's DETOX for 21 days
I am embarking on a diet from today. Yeah, yeah, I know this must be the millionth time I have said THAT, but I am very positive about this one. It is based on Dr. Nish Joshi's Ayurvedic principles. It is not based on starvation, rather we are encouraged to eat till we feel full... but what we eat is the key here. It is a detox diet, which means that the food is going to be so fresh and homemade and additive-free that the body pushes out the toxins stored inside, in order to welcome the new, healthy sustenance.
We CANNOT eat -
Red meat
Seafood, except oily fish
Dairy produce
Fruits, except bananas
Wheat, gluten and yeast
Alcohol
Nuts
Veggies belonging to the nightshade family, i.e., mushrooms, augergines, tomatoes, cucumbers, potatoes and green/red/yellow peppers
Jams and spreads
Coffee and tea, except herbal
Sugar, chocolate and sweets
Artificially produced flavourings, such as ketchup, vinegar and mustard
I know, what is actually left, jeez!
Actually, plenty. In the next 21 days, I can consume reasonable quantity of:
Goat's cheeses (like feta)
White meat – chicken and turkey
Brown basmati or long grain rice
Live yoghurt (unsweetened)
Dark green leaves and vegetables, except avocado
Eggs, no more than 3 to 4 a week
Fish, especially oily but NOT shellfish, tuna or swordfish
Gluten free/wheat free cereals, rice crackers and breads
Honey
Olive oil
Pulses, lentils, chick peas
Soya and tofu products
I stocked my pantry with the following items (cost me £25 at Waitrose) – Live yogurt, Rice milk, Brown Basmati, Cauliflower, cabbage, broccoli, spinach, carrots, red lentils, salmon (4 big pieces), onions, fresh garlic and ginger, mild green chillies, green tea, walnuts, fresh coriander.
(I already had extra virgin olive oil, lemons, and all herbs and Indian spices at home... this is a staple if you want to do this diet, invest in the Indian spices to make your detox tasty... at the barest minimum, you should have: Ground coriander, cumin seeds, black mustard, red chilli powder, turmeric powder, korma powder, garam masala, rosemary, thyme, oregano)
Wish me luck!
We CANNOT eat -
Red meat
Seafood, except oily fish
Dairy produce
Fruits, except bananas
Wheat, gluten and yeast
Alcohol
Nuts
Veggies belonging to the nightshade family, i.e., mushrooms, augergines, tomatoes, cucumbers, potatoes and green/red/yellow peppers
Jams and spreads
Coffee and tea, except herbal
Sugar, chocolate and sweets
Artificially produced flavourings, such as ketchup, vinegar and mustard
I know, what is actually left, jeez!
Actually, plenty. In the next 21 days, I can consume reasonable quantity of:
Goat's cheeses (like feta)
White meat – chicken and turkey
Brown basmati or long grain rice
Live yoghurt (unsweetened)
Dark green leaves and vegetables, except avocado
Eggs, no more than 3 to 4 a week
Fish, especially oily but NOT shellfish, tuna or swordfish
Gluten free/wheat free cereals, rice crackers and breads
Honey
Olive oil
Pulses, lentils, chick peas
Soya and tofu products
I stocked my pantry with the following items (cost me £25 at Waitrose) – Live yogurt, Rice milk, Brown Basmati, Cauliflower, cabbage, broccoli, spinach, carrots, red lentils, salmon (4 big pieces), onions, fresh garlic and ginger, mild green chillies, green tea, walnuts, fresh coriander.
(I already had extra virgin olive oil, lemons, and all herbs and Indian spices at home... this is a staple if you want to do this diet, invest in the Indian spices to make your detox tasty... at the barest minimum, you should have: Ground coriander, cumin seeds, black mustard, red chilli powder, turmeric powder, korma powder, garam masala, rosemary, thyme, oregano)
Wish me luck!
Wednesday, December 16, 2009
AVATAR
A knee-jerk reaction review of the non-3d version
I firmly believe that one cannot judge a movie on first viewing. I like to review a movie after watching it a second time, after a week of my first viewing, preferably a month later. So may be I should not write this review an hour after seeing AVATAR. A second viewing shows me things that I might have missed the first time. I like to form my opinion after several days, but but BUT... the initial opinion never changes.
I can watch a movie any number of times, but the first impression is, my dear movie aficionados, ALWAYS the best impression. So here it is, the first impression. You know the feeling when watching a really great movie, that awesome realisation that you are watching a masterpiece, the near-teary feeling in your heart that you will be waching this movie again and again with your kids and grandkids?
Well, I did NOT get that feeling after watching AVATAR.
What I did get was that James Cameron has given the children of today and tomorrow a good damn movie. Seriously. Colourful woods and blue aliens and helicopter fights and oh my, even flying dragon-birds. Classic children’s movie, I tell you. Unfortunately, the theatre was filled with adults, adults who looked uncomfortable during the beginning of the movie, bored in the middle, and quite relieved when it ended.
(I did not watch it in 3D because there was no 3d screen at the hammersmith cineworld, but in any case, I don't think it has anything to do with the real essence of a movie.)
But let’s talk a bit about the story here. Humans discover a distant planet called Pandora which contains a valuable mineral. The planet is also inhabited by really tall and incredibly blue aliens (the N’avi) who resist the invasion. Grace (WEAVER), an environmental scientist, tries to stop the army into harming the aliens. Jake Sully (WORTHINGTON), a disabled veteran is given a body mask that makes him look exactly like the Na’vi. The humans introduce him and Grace into the world of Na’vi to know how they can be tricked into giving up their homeland. Will Jake and Grace succeed?
Technically, the movie is cool. If you are a diehard Cameron fan and if you like epic movie plots with gorgeous landscape, you will love it. I too am speechless at the world Cameron created in the movie (but good special effects doth not make a good make!). If you watch this one with children (not teens, though, they will just snort and leave to watch TWILIGHT in the next hall), you will even shed a tear or two at the hardships faced by the aliens. The special effects is marvellous and sure to get an Oscar nod, the actors have done their jobs properly, and it is really good entertainment. But was it worth all the hype? No. And did we expect more from Cameron. YES.
Given the 10-foot-tall aliens and the breathtaking world of Pandora, I can somewhat accept that Cameron was working on this movie for more than a decade (he must have spent most part of it at the 3g lab), but the screenplay left me puzzled. The plot was unoriginal and tired, especially to a scifi junkie like me. The epic good vs evil war theme and even the background music strongly resembled Narnia, and the chanting aliens and environmental theme kind of made it cheesy.
My biggest gripe is that the movie itself is not telling us anything new. It is just another mindless scifi flick like a PLANET OF APES or THE DAY THE EARTH STOOD STILL or WAR OF THE WORLDS. There is nothing wrong with mindless scifi flicks, by the way. I positively love them. I am actually the-love-them-and-leave-them type when it comes to mindless entertainment. You see it, roll your eyes, whoop at the war scenes, and forget about it. Heck, I got more goosebumps when I was watching TRANSFORMERS!!!
That’s what is unacceptable. After 12 years, is this the best Cameron can give us? Where is the rollercoaster thrill of his ALIENS, the haunting beauty of his TITANIC, The suave sexiness of TRUE LIES, the sheer magic of T2? Why is this so generic and why didn’t this movie have any visible trademark that it was directed by a master expert? Why did I not leave the theatre hall feeling privileged to have seen a Cameron movie (should I have watched it in 3D)? Why, why, WHY, dammit?
Now, if only it was advertised as a children’s movie...!!!
(If you want to read an in-depth review which analyses the technical aspects of the movie, please click HERE)
I firmly believe that one cannot judge a movie on first viewing. I like to review a movie after watching it a second time, after a week of my first viewing, preferably a month later. So may be I should not write this review an hour after seeing AVATAR. A second viewing shows me things that I might have missed the first time. I like to form my opinion after several days, but but BUT... the initial opinion never changes.
I can watch a movie any number of times, but the first impression is, my dear movie aficionados, ALWAYS the best impression. So here it is, the first impression. You know the feeling when watching a really great movie, that awesome realisation that you are watching a masterpiece, the near-teary feeling in your heart that you will be waching this movie again and again with your kids and grandkids?
Well, I did NOT get that feeling after watching AVATAR.
What I did get was that James Cameron has given the children of today and tomorrow a good damn movie. Seriously. Colourful woods and blue aliens and helicopter fights and oh my, even flying dragon-birds. Classic children’s movie, I tell you. Unfortunately, the theatre was filled with adults, adults who looked uncomfortable during the beginning of the movie, bored in the middle, and quite relieved when it ended.
(I did not watch it in 3D because there was no 3d screen at the hammersmith cineworld, but in any case, I don't think it has anything to do with the real essence of a movie.)
But let’s talk a bit about the story here. Humans discover a distant planet called Pandora which contains a valuable mineral. The planet is also inhabited by really tall and incredibly blue aliens (the N’avi) who resist the invasion. Grace (WEAVER), an environmental scientist, tries to stop the army into harming the aliens. Jake Sully (WORTHINGTON), a disabled veteran is given a body mask that makes him look exactly like the Na’vi. The humans introduce him and Grace into the world of Na’vi to know how they can be tricked into giving up their homeland. Will Jake and Grace succeed?
Technically, the movie is cool. If you are a diehard Cameron fan and if you like epic movie plots with gorgeous landscape, you will love it. I too am speechless at the world Cameron created in the movie (but good special effects doth not make a good make!). If you watch this one with children (not teens, though, they will just snort and leave to watch TWILIGHT in the next hall), you will even shed a tear or two at the hardships faced by the aliens. The special effects is marvellous and sure to get an Oscar nod, the actors have done their jobs properly, and it is really good entertainment. But was it worth all the hype? No. And did we expect more from Cameron. YES.
Given the 10-foot-tall aliens and the breathtaking world of Pandora, I can somewhat accept that Cameron was working on this movie for more than a decade (he must have spent most part of it at the 3g lab), but the screenplay left me puzzled. The plot was unoriginal and tired, especially to a scifi junkie like me. The epic good vs evil war theme and even the background music strongly resembled Narnia, and the chanting aliens and environmental theme kind of made it cheesy.
My biggest gripe is that the movie itself is not telling us anything new. It is just another mindless scifi flick like a PLANET OF APES or THE DAY THE EARTH STOOD STILL or WAR OF THE WORLDS. There is nothing wrong with mindless scifi flicks, by the way. I positively love them. I am actually the-love-them-and-leave-them type when it comes to mindless entertainment. You see it, roll your eyes, whoop at the war scenes, and forget about it. Heck, I got more goosebumps when I was watching TRANSFORMERS!!!
That’s what is unacceptable. After 12 years, is this the best Cameron can give us? Where is the rollercoaster thrill of his ALIENS, the haunting beauty of his TITANIC, The suave sexiness of TRUE LIES, the sheer magic of T2? Why is this so generic and why didn’t this movie have any visible trademark that it was directed by a master expert? Why did I not leave the theatre hall feeling privileged to have seen a Cameron movie (should I have watched it in 3D)? Why, why, WHY, dammit?
Now, if only it was advertised as a children’s movie...!!!
(If you want to read an in-depth review which analyses the technical aspects of the movie, please click HERE)
Saturday, August 22, 2009
Penniless in London
I think I am on the verge of another experiment in my life. One that might make or break me.
I made an important discovery today. My wallet is empty.
My next live-in job starts on Sep 1st and till then, I am broke. Completely, utterly broke. All my money has been spent on job-hunting and surviving, and I am at a position where I can rub shoulders with a discreet Zen beggar.
Pluses: I have a roof over my head, food three times a day, a wifi laptop on loan, a library in walkable distance, and a phone that can take incoming calls.
Minus: No money, not even a penny, in my wallet.
One more week to go till I see cash notes in my life. Can I survive? Is it even possible to claim to enjoy life without money?
As I said, this is going to be a most important week in my life. As I looked into my empty wallet, my whole life flashed before my eye. My passions, my hatreds, my previous jobs, my weaknesses, my strengths my vice, my virtues... almost each of them had involved money, directly or indirectly. Can I remain intact, physically and mentally, for a week without the green notes?
Let's find out.
Wednesday, July 15, 2009
Back in London
This time, with my mother. One month of sightseeing and job-hunting.
I don't think I will have much time to update this blog, let alone check mail frequently (I still don't have a laptop). Weekdays for jobhunting and weekends for sightseeing - a hectic schedule that is surely going to be exhauting.
But I am happy I have got some one with me to share London with. VERY Happy.
Trust me, the more the see the world, the less you wish to see it alone.
Saturday, July 04, 2009
Leaving Kanpur
The first ever science fiction writing workshop in India (Jun 15 - Jul 3, 2009) came to an end today, with a nice party on the front-yard of Suchithra Mathur's apartment.
We sang, laughed, drank, ate, and exchanged ambitions, plans and email addresses. Full of hope and contentment, took a final midnight walk in the campus of IIT, Kanpur.
Tomorrow, I leave in the early morning to Delhi, for a shopping weekend. I have a meagre budget of Rs. 2000, but I am sure I can buy a lot in Janpath market.
We reached our hostel and waved at the guys, who are on their way to the men's hostel. It will be a long time before we could all meet again, but for now, we smile and say good night.
Wednesday, July 01, 2009
I didn't go to class today :(.
I am unwell. I feel dizzy when I stood up or moved fast, and spent the whole day in bed. Is it the heat or as my friends suggested, is something wrong with my blood pressure? Got to do something about this when I go back to Chennai.
When I had my rest and woke up, I started thinking about my writing. If not for anything, I will forever remember this workshop for making me feel good about myself. I never thought I had it in me to write fiction, yet in the past 2 weeks, I have written three stories and all three were praised (even though only one of them is my personal favorite!). I am almost reluctant to submit them to magazines, because I want to keep them in my documents folder and savour their presence... they are the proof that I have "matured" from writing for children to writing for adults...
Meanwhile, here are some well-reputed magazines that pay good money for good stories:
Narrative magazine - http://narrativemagazine.com/shared/submit.php
Pays $350-$1000
Glimmertrain (reading period starts frm July 1) Standard submission - http://www.glimmertrain.com/writguid1.html
Pays $700
The Antigonish Review (reading period starts frm Sep 1) - http://www.antigonishreview.com/submissions.html
Pays $100
Malahat Review - http://malahatreview.ca/submission_guidelines.html
Pays $40 per page
The Pedestal magazine - http://www.thepedestalmagazine.com/submitguidelines.php
Pays: $.08 per word
More magazines here - http://www.pw.org/literary_magazines?apage=*
When I had my rest and woke up, I started thinking about my writing. If not for anything, I will forever remember this workshop for making me feel good about myself. I never thought I had it in me to write fiction, yet in the past 2 weeks, I have written three stories and all three were praised (even though only one of them is my personal favorite!). I am almost reluctant to submit them to magazines, because I want to keep them in my documents folder and savour their presence... they are the proof that I have "matured" from writing for children to writing for adults...
Meanwhile, here are some well-reputed magazines that pay good money for good stories:
Narrative magazine - http://narrativemagazine.com/shared/submit.php
Pays $350-$1000
Glimmertrain (reading period starts frm July 1) Standard submission - http://www.glimmertrain.com/writguid1.html
Pays $700
The Antigonish Review (reading period starts frm Sep 1) - http://www.antigonishreview.com/submissions.html
Pays $100
Malahat Review - http://malahatreview.ca/submission_guidelines.html
Pays $40 per page
The Pedestal magazine - http://www.thepedestalmagazine.com/submitguidelines.php
Pays: $.08 per word
More magazines here - http://www.pw.org/literary_magazines?apage=*
Monday, June 29, 2009
Introducing Vandana Singh
Today, Vandana Singh joined us as the 3rd instructor of the workshop.
Vandana is the "scientist" in the trio of Gurus who have been enlightening us in the past 3 weeks. Despite possessing a Ph.D. in theoretical particle physics and teaching at a small-town college in USA, she writers speculative fiction and has published a number of stories. She is also the author of the Younguncle series of children's books.
Due to an unfortunate accident in the loo, I arrived late for the class. I couldn't take part in the exercise but I really enjoyed the rest of the class. Who knew learning about gravity could be so easy? I wish my teaches back in school were this gentle and patient!
And oh, she had another interesting exercise - we had to take a proven scientific fact and retell it as a mythology story. I had a ball writing this one and my entry "The Monkey's Bargain" was praised as one of the best.
I am happy!
Vandana is the "scientist" in the trio of Gurus who have been enlightening us in the past 3 weeks. Despite possessing a Ph.D. in theoretical particle physics and teaching at a small-town college in USA, she writers speculative fiction and has published a number of stories. She is also the author of the Younguncle series of children's books.
Due to an unfortunate accident in the loo, I arrived late for the class. I couldn't take part in the exercise but I really enjoyed the rest of the class. Who knew learning about gravity could be so easy? I wish my teaches back in school were this gentle and patient!
And oh, she had another interesting exercise - we had to take a proven scientific fact and retell it as a mythology story. I had a ball writing this one and my entry "The Monkey's Bargain" was praised as one of the best.
I am happy!
Saturday, June 27, 2009
Of Chaats and Children
Tonight was the chaat party at the PBCEC building at IIT-K. Lots of pani puris and tikki chaats and gulab jamuns. And vanilla ice cream too!
Be it a get-together or a conference, if they are not friends or family, I don't mingle with the crowd. I know - this totally kills the concept of networking, which is crucial to a writer, especially to a broke one. But that's the way I am, and I have tried a lot, but I could never, ever make small talk or inane talk or intelligent talk. I have just come to terms with it and stopped agonising about it.
But this party at IIT-K was a slight exception. My classmates were such an outrageous lot (think ADHD kids on drugs) that it was impossible to hide from them. So while I successfully avoided mingling with the faculty (not by choice; there is something about me that makes members of academia run for cover), I spent quite some time "chaating" with Himanshu and Akshat.
After an hour, it became apparent that 8pm is the limit for IIT parties, which elicited collective groans from the aforementioned hyper classmates. Just when we were about to leave, Himashu noticed a chubby boy, around 9, sitting alone in a corner of the lawn. I had noticed him earler, and Himanshu succeeded in what I wanted to do - he steered out little group towards the boy and sat near him.
Like a typical IIT kid, he was relaxed and quietly confident. He answered our questions patiently and commented casually about the heat. He had a very adult-like way of nodding his head when speaking, and I felt the familiar rush of compassion and delight that I feel these days for kids. I wanted to hug him and sit with him and play a game of chess, take him to the zoo this weekend, and may be exchange email ids and years down the lane, advice him which country to go during his gap year.
It is during times like these that I remember my age - very, very close to the big 3-oh. The clock is loudest when I see children sitting alone or being quietly brave. I never simper over babies - in fact, being the OB I am, I don't even like being responsible enough to care for babies - but older children always make me sad. In a hearbeat, they turn the corner to find Teensville and acquire precocious (even cynical) wisdom, but when they are still at middle school and believe in Famous Five, they are innocense personified, a rare feat and sight in the world.
Be it a get-together or a conference, if they are not friends or family, I don't mingle with the crowd. I know - this totally kills the concept of networking, which is crucial to a writer, especially to a broke one. But that's the way I am, and I have tried a lot, but I could never, ever make small talk or inane talk or intelligent talk. I have just come to terms with it and stopped agonising about it.
But this party at IIT-K was a slight exception. My classmates were such an outrageous lot (think ADHD kids on drugs) that it was impossible to hide from them. So while I successfully avoided mingling with the faculty (not by choice; there is something about me that makes members of academia run for cover), I spent quite some time "chaating" with Himanshu and Akshat.
After an hour, it became apparent that 8pm is the limit for IIT parties, which elicited collective groans from the aforementioned hyper classmates. Just when we were about to leave, Himashu noticed a chubby boy, around 9, sitting alone in a corner of the lawn. I had noticed him earler, and Himanshu succeeded in what I wanted to do - he steered out little group towards the boy and sat near him.
Like a typical IIT kid, he was relaxed and quietly confident. He answered our questions patiently and commented casually about the heat. He had a very adult-like way of nodding his head when speaking, and I felt the familiar rush of compassion and delight that I feel these days for kids. I wanted to hug him and sit with him and play a game of chess, take him to the zoo this weekend, and may be exchange email ids and years down the lane, advice him which country to go during his gap year.
It is during times like these that I remember my age - very, very close to the big 3-oh. The clock is loudest when I see children sitting alone or being quietly brave. I never simper over babies - in fact, being the OB I am, I don't even like being responsible enough to care for babies - but older children always make me sad. In a hearbeat, they turn the corner to find Teensville and acquire precocious (even cynical) wisdom, but when they are still at middle school and believe in Famous Five, they are innocense personified, a rare feat and sight in the world.
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
Science Fiction workshop 2009, IIT Kanpur
So far, great.
The 1st batch is a mixture of late teens, young people, and above 30 category. We had a journalist, a lecturer, a copy editor, a moleculor biologist, few IIT students, and a newspaper columnist amidst us.
The mornings (9am-1pm) are spent in critiquing each other's stories, and the afternoons (2:30pm-5:30pm) in theory and writing exercises. This is EXACTLY what I wished I had as a college experience when I was younger. Anil Menon is an awesome workshop facilitator and I am glad, GLAD to have taken the plunge and come here from London.
The 1st batch is a mixture of late teens, young people, and above 30 category. We had a journalist, a lecturer, a copy editor, a moleculor biologist, few IIT students, and a newspaper columnist amidst us.
The mornings (9am-1pm) are spent in critiquing each other's stories, and the afternoons (2:30pm-5:30pm) in theory and writing exercises. This is EXACTLY what I wished I had as a college experience when I was younger. Anil Menon is an awesome workshop facilitator and I am glad, GLAD to have taken the plunge and come here from London.
Monday, June 15, 2009
Finally at Kanpur
We arrived at 7am in Kanpur but the train actually stopped at the station only at 8:15pm. It took us an hour to get from the station to IIT. On the way, the roadscape looked so dismal and dry that I closed my eyes and pretended to be asleep.
IIT Kanpur is pretty much like the Chennai one, may be more roads and lesser area of woods. It certainly was hot. The Girls Hostel building was all squares and corridors, not one curve in sight. Our room was compact, with two single beds, as Suneetha and I were sharing the room. One plus was that it was right opposite to the restrooms (later proved to be a godsend... when the heat wouldn't allow us to sleep, we would wake up at all sorts of hours and stand under the shower...)
I kind of crashed for some time, while Suneetha went ahead and attended the inaugrual function. I, as usual, went late and entered the AC hall to find Anil Menon doing a group writing exercise. (More about the workshop tomm)
IIT Kanpur is pretty much like the Chennai one, may be more roads and lesser area of woods. It certainly was hot. The Girls Hostel building was all squares and corridors, not one curve in sight. Our room was compact, with two single beds, as Suneetha and I were sharing the room. One plus was that it was right opposite to the restrooms (later proved to be a godsend... when the heat wouldn't allow us to sleep, we would wake up at all sorts of hours and stand under the shower...)
I kind of crashed for some time, while Suneetha went ahead and attended the inaugrual function. I, as usual, went late and entered the AC hall to find Anil Menon doing a group writing exercise. (More about the workshop tomm)
Sunday, June 14, 2009
Stranded
New Delhi Railway Station. AKA The Station from the Underbelly of Hell.
The minute there were seats available in Lichavi Express in the last 48 hours, I should have suspected something foul.
It was supposed to arrive at 3pm. It came at 1am the next day.
10 hours in crowded, hot NDLS with luggage and a thousand people sitting on the platform. Sitting, sleeping, eating, and in some cases pissing and shitting too. Add to that a sandstorm in the night, where everything, including our bodies, shone yellow.
Luckily, Suneetha and I parked our bums on a bench but you have NO idea how precarious our positions were. Eyes followed our every move, calculating when we would leave our bench. Scared witless about forsaking our bench and sitting amidst limbs and arms, we didn't even get up once in the 6 hours. Yep, no food or potty break.
There must be a reason why were were put through this. If there is, I haven't found it yet.
Though I have an entirely new appreciation for the people of DUNE.
The minute there were seats available in Lichavi Express in the last 48 hours, I should have suspected something foul.
It was supposed to arrive at 3pm. It came at 1am the next day.
10 hours in crowded, hot NDLS with luggage and a thousand people sitting on the platform. Sitting, sleeping, eating, and in some cases pissing and shitting too. Add to that a sandstorm in the night, where everything, including our bodies, shone yellow.
Luckily, Suneetha and I parked our bums on a bench but you have NO idea how precarious our positions were. Eyes followed our every move, calculating when we would leave our bench. Scared witless about forsaking our bench and sitting amidst limbs and arms, we didn't even get up once in the 6 hours. Yep, no food or potty break.
There must be a reason why were were put through this. If there is, I haven't found it yet.
Though I have an entirely new appreciation for the people of DUNE.
Wednesday, June 03, 2009
I didn't have a camera with me...
... when a 5-year old child leaned against my arm and whispered her wish to become a rock star, her face shining in trust that I would never betray her big secret.
... when she held a duck race in her pink bathtub every evening, willing her favourite duckie to win, and pouting when he didn't.
... when she lead me to the trampoline on sunny days, patiently teaching me to jump, and screaming delightfully when we played 'Crocodile grab me' in mid air.
The life of a nanny is filled with such moments. The child you wake up in the morning and tuck in at the night is not yours. You cannot kiss or hug her, since at a wrong moment, it can be percieved as perverse. There is no bond between you and her, save for the bond of employment, a crisp exchange of notes every Friday evening, in return for infinite care and affection during the week.
The real parents, often absent due to work and recreation, are such a jealous lot that you have to constantly check in your emotions and behave like a strict governess, instead of the indulgent nanny - otherwise, the child would love you more, which will render you jobless in a second.
It is impossible to take a picture of the child who has allowed you into her magical world and helped you rediscover innocence. You have to rely on your mind as the camera, and your memory as the storehouse for the pictures.
You can only hope that the pictures never get old.
... when she held a duck race in her pink bathtub every evening, willing her favourite duckie to win, and pouting when he didn't.
... when she lead me to the trampoline on sunny days, patiently teaching me to jump, and screaming delightfully when we played 'Crocodile grab me' in mid air.
The life of a nanny is filled with such moments. The child you wake up in the morning and tuck in at the night is not yours. You cannot kiss or hug her, since at a wrong moment, it can be percieved as perverse. There is no bond between you and her, save for the bond of employment, a crisp exchange of notes every Friday evening, in return for infinite care and affection during the week.
The real parents, often absent due to work and recreation, are such a jealous lot that you have to constantly check in your emotions and behave like a strict governess, instead of the indulgent nanny - otherwise, the child would love you more, which will render you jobless in a second.
It is impossible to take a picture of the child who has allowed you into her magical world and helped you rediscover innocence. You have to rely on your mind as the camera, and your memory as the storehouse for the pictures.
You can only hope that the pictures never get old.
Thursday, May 28, 2009
What religion do I belong to?
Some of my friends wonder - am I going to covert to Christianity?
This is probably because I regularly go to Church these days.
My answer: Just because I enjoy eating in restaurants, doesn't mean that I am going to stop cooking at home. Or buy deli food and eat it in a park.
I am not an atheist - it cannot be all a big fat co-incidence. I do believe in a Higher Power. What I don't believe is giving it a name, restricting it to a certain colour and entering it in a race ("Who is the best of all?")
I like the bits and pieces from each religion.
I like to be in a Hindhu temple because of its serenity, but I do NOT like it the concept of a punishing God or when menstruating women are not allowed inside. I HATE it when saffron-clad swamijis live like Kings and own Benz cars, while middle class people donate their ancestral lands to religious organisations, in the name of donation.
I like the sermons of a Church, but I do NOT like when it preaches that Man is a sinner and he has to repent all his life for his sins. I don't buy that. If Man sinned, why hasn't God just destroyed the whole world in a rage? If He can be angry enough to banish His children from Eden, why not just terminate it all and start afresh?
I like Islam, because it is actually a peaceful religion. The Quran says "...whosoever killeth a human being... it shall be as if he had killed all mankind, and whoso saveth the life of one, it shall be as if he had saved the life of all mankind... (5:32). But I do not like the burka, or the fact that it is the cradle of modern terrorism.
Buddhism, Jewish principles, Native American Beliefs... I pick the good things from all religion and shape my spirituality. Only in this way, I can get as much as possible from all religions.
This may sound blasphemous for some, but it is what works for me the best. I firmly believe that each person has to form his/her own manner of prayer and worship to his/her God.
This is probably because I regularly go to Church these days.
My answer: Just because I enjoy eating in restaurants, doesn't mean that I am going to stop cooking at home. Or buy deli food and eat it in a park.
I am not an atheist - it cannot be all a big fat co-incidence. I do believe in a Higher Power. What I don't believe is giving it a name, restricting it to a certain colour and entering it in a race ("Who is the best of all?")
I like the bits and pieces from each religion.
I like to be in a Hindhu temple because of its serenity, but I do NOT like it the concept of a punishing God or when menstruating women are not allowed inside. I HATE it when saffron-clad swamijis live like Kings and own Benz cars, while middle class people donate their ancestral lands to religious organisations, in the name of donation.
I like the sermons of a Church, but I do NOT like when it preaches that Man is a sinner and he has to repent all his life for his sins. I don't buy that. If Man sinned, why hasn't God just destroyed the whole world in a rage? If He can be angry enough to banish His children from Eden, why not just terminate it all and start afresh?
I like Islam, because it is actually a peaceful religion. The Quran says "...whosoever killeth a human being... it shall be as if he had killed all mankind, and whoso saveth the life of one, it shall be as if he had saved the life of all mankind... (5:32). But I do not like the burka, or the fact that it is the cradle of modern terrorism.
Buddhism, Jewish principles, Native American Beliefs... I pick the good things from all religion and shape my spirituality. Only in this way, I can get as much as possible from all religions.
This may sound blasphemous for some, but it is what works for me the best. I firmly believe that each person has to form his/her own manner of prayer and worship to his/her God.
Thursday, May 07, 2009
Farewell to my 10-year old cat
The second I heard my mom's quivering voice on the phone, I knew you were dead.
It is crazy that you chose to die of kidney failure just one month before i was due to return back home.
I’m so heartbroken for not being there with you… I am wondering what bad karma i had, to be excluded from your last moments on earth...
I have always been pragmatic about death. I probably would not cry if any of my friends or family dies. It is pointless to even cry, because we all are going to die anyway.
But I never even imagined a situation where I would miss the moment of farewell. That, to me, is worse than death, and trust the Fates to know that beforehand and use it to cripple me...
I am so angry at my personal situation that required me to be in London during the past few months, away from you...
I am feeling guilty because mom told me how much u missed me the past few months and I didn't think about u much bcos of my study commitments...
I am feeling terrible bcos I remember how many times I went straight to my room from work, without giving you a cuddle... and the times you had to sleep alone in the living room, when you wanted to sleep in my bed, I wouldn’t let you bcos you shed too much... I am so sorry about that too...
Jojo, mom is crying non-stop bcos she feels that she should have noticed the symptoms earlier and taken you to the vet... and here in London I am unable to cry bcos I KNOW I caused your death... had I been in India, I would have whisked you off to the vet the minute you looked unwell...
And my one wish to have you cremated, so that I can have your ashes in a urn, was not destined to come true... you were buried in a community cremation ground... and the stupid laws in India forbid women to enter there... so it looks like I won't even be able to look at the spot you were buried...
i am wondering... is this a punishment from god for the way i have been slacking off in the past few years? I'm sure it is. Otherwise, why would you leave me so suddenly, after being my only companion for the past 10 years? My only friend who didn't care that I was fat, average and lived a life full of mistakes?
I know u lived a happy life with us, u certainly wouldn‘t have lasted more than a year in that neughbourhood we rescued you from… but it really hurts that I was not able to give you so many things that you deserved to have… like balanced food or regular vet visits... u never had a garden to run about or a toy to play with or a brush just for yourself... i'm very very sorry for that... this is one of the few times I hate being middle-class in India… where pet “expenses” are considered a sin and a nuisance…
At this stage, I can only mourn for what i didn't do for you... may be, when this pain becomes a little more bearable, i can think about the happy times I spent with you... how grave and zen-like you normally were yet would comically do some stunts to make us laugh… the way your heard would droop enduringly when you fall asleep sitting… and how you loved to snuggle in our armpits… and the way you hissed and boo’ed at the street dogs, from safety of our balcony…
And how you “spoke” to the crows and pigeons in our terrace… how you will jump on us if you can smell food from our palms, as we come home from a restaurant… how you would terrorise my mom if she was cooking fish, bullying her so much that she would give you the lion’s share of it… and the way you terminated the rats in the neighbourhood, holding them in your jaws and making everyone run away from you ferocious gait into your corner in the house…
And the most happy memory of you I have is how I used to pick u up and keep you on my chest, while I lay on the sofa, watching TV… how mom used to shout it was unhygienic and that you might scratch me… and how wild it drove her when I kissed you on your nose or head… but I’m so glad I didn’t think bloody hygiene, am so glad I have you some love, in return to the unconditional love you have me for the past 10 years…
Farewell, my sweetie, my purr bucket, my mojo jojo… named after the cranky monkey of powerpuff girls, which you used to see with us when we were kids… all I can ask for is your forgiveness… for leaving you alone during your twilight years…
In case you ever wondered why I was gone… if you are being born again, please come into my life once again… I will know it is you if I can ever bear to touch another cat again…
------
It is crazy that you chose to die of kidney failure just one month before i was due to return back home.
I’m so heartbroken for not being there with you… I am wondering what bad karma i had, to be excluded from your last moments on earth...
I have always been pragmatic about death. I probably would not cry if any of my friends or family dies. It is pointless to even cry, because we all are going to die anyway.
But I never even imagined a situation where I would miss the moment of farewell. That, to me, is worse than death, and trust the Fates to know that beforehand and use it to cripple me...
I am so angry at my personal situation that required me to be in London during the past few months, away from you...
I am feeling guilty because mom told me how much u missed me the past few months and I didn't think about u much bcos of my study commitments...
I am feeling terrible bcos I remember how many times I went straight to my room from work, without giving you a cuddle... and the times you had to sleep alone in the living room, when you wanted to sleep in my bed, I wouldn’t let you bcos you shed too much... I am so sorry about that too...
Jojo, mom is crying non-stop bcos she feels that she should have noticed the symptoms earlier and taken you to the vet... and here in London I am unable to cry bcos I KNOW I caused your death... had I been in India, I would have whisked you off to the vet the minute you looked unwell...
And my one wish to have you cremated, so that I can have your ashes in a urn, was not destined to come true... you were buried in a community cremation ground... and the stupid laws in India forbid women to enter there... so it looks like I won't even be able to look at the spot you were buried...
i am wondering... is this a punishment from god for the way i have been slacking off in the past few years? I'm sure it is. Otherwise, why would you leave me so suddenly, after being my only companion for the past 10 years? My only friend who didn't care that I was fat, average and lived a life full of mistakes?
I know u lived a happy life with us, u certainly wouldn‘t have lasted more than a year in that neughbourhood we rescued you from… but it really hurts that I was not able to give you so many things that you deserved to have… like balanced food or regular vet visits... u never had a garden to run about or a toy to play with or a brush just for yourself... i'm very very sorry for that... this is one of the few times I hate being middle-class in India… where pet “expenses” are considered a sin and a nuisance…
At this stage, I can only mourn for what i didn't do for you... may be, when this pain becomes a little more bearable, i can think about the happy times I spent with you... how grave and zen-like you normally were yet would comically do some stunts to make us laugh… the way your heard would droop enduringly when you fall asleep sitting… and how you loved to snuggle in our armpits… and the way you hissed and boo’ed at the street dogs, from safety of our balcony…
And how you “spoke” to the crows and pigeons in our terrace… how you will jump on us if you can smell food from our palms, as we come home from a restaurant… how you would terrorise my mom if she was cooking fish, bullying her so much that she would give you the lion’s share of it… and the way you terminated the rats in the neighbourhood, holding them in your jaws and making everyone run away from you ferocious gait into your corner in the house…
And the most happy memory of you I have is how I used to pick u up and keep you on my chest, while I lay on the sofa, watching TV… how mom used to shout it was unhygienic and that you might scratch me… and how wild it drove her when I kissed you on your nose or head… but I’m so glad I didn’t think bloody hygiene, am so glad I have you some love, in return to the unconditional love you have me for the past 10 years…
Farewell, my sweetie, my purr bucket, my mojo jojo… named after the cranky monkey of powerpuff girls, which you used to see with us when we were kids… all I can ask for is your forgiveness… for leaving you alone during your twilight years…
In case you ever wondered why I was gone… if you are being born again, please come into my life once again… I will know it is you if I can ever bear to touch another cat again…
------
Sunday, May 03, 2009
A sign... may be?
I attended the sunday mass today, at El-Shaddai, Golders Green.
I was blown away by the sermon.
It was my first sermon, in a church that celebrated god with music and dance. When I entered, I was surprised to see that the interior looked like that of an opera hall. Huge TVs hung from the cerling, and an orchestra played in the stage. Then the worship started. Beautiful songs praising Jesus and the God. I can always appreciate a religion which includes singing and dancing in its worship.
After worship, the sermon started and for the first time in my life, I listened to a 2-hr lecture without yawning once. That, by itself, is an achievement!
Secondly, the topic of the sermon. Lately, I have been praying for some sign that I am on the right path... and I think I have been answered. The topic was about how God has specific plans for us, and he leads us from one place to another, which may seem confusing and pointless to us, but is all a part of the big plan for us.
Because we may be blown away if we see the big picture too soon, God leads us slowly, haltingly, from one place to another, over the course of days, weeks, months. It may seem frustrating, it may seem tedious, it may even seem fruitless, but if we are patient enough, we will be rewarded one day.
I have to tell you - I could kiss the pastor for this sermon. No one in my life before has EVER said anything this positive, this encouraging. Sure, this is a Christian sermon, but I don't care - for me, God is God, without fancy names. He can be called Jesus or Krishna or Buddha, but for me, God is the humble pastor in a church, who plants hope and joy in the hearts of desperate people.
El-Shaddai International Christian Centre
http://www.elshaddai.org.uk/thechurch.htm
I was blown away by the sermon.
It was my first sermon, in a church that celebrated god with music and dance. When I entered, I was surprised to see that the interior looked like that of an opera hall. Huge TVs hung from the cerling, and an orchestra played in the stage. Then the worship started. Beautiful songs praising Jesus and the God. I can always appreciate a religion which includes singing and dancing in its worship.
After worship, the sermon started and for the first time in my life, I listened to a 2-hr lecture without yawning once. That, by itself, is an achievement!
Secondly, the topic of the sermon. Lately, I have been praying for some sign that I am on the right path... and I think I have been answered. The topic was about how God has specific plans for us, and he leads us from one place to another, which may seem confusing and pointless to us, but is all a part of the big plan for us.
Because we may be blown away if we see the big picture too soon, God leads us slowly, haltingly, from one place to another, over the course of days, weeks, months. It may seem frustrating, it may seem tedious, it may even seem fruitless, but if we are patient enough, we will be rewarded one day.
I have to tell you - I could kiss the pastor for this sermon. No one in my life before has EVER said anything this positive, this encouraging. Sure, this is a Christian sermon, but I don't care - for me, God is God, without fancy names. He can be called Jesus or Krishna or Buddha, but for me, God is the humble pastor in a church, who plants hope and joy in the hearts of desperate people.
El-Shaddai International Christian Centre
http://www.elshaddai.org.uk/thechurch.htm
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